Apparently, dreams are meant to help us work out real-life problems. Hands down the coolest dream I’ve ever had was when I was sentenced to death for a crime my dream boyfriend committed. I was led up a very large helix-shaped staircase into a very small plain room. Leonardo da Vinci was waiting in the…Read more
Dear Santa, I know I’m not always good but I try. I’m estimating I’m bad maybe 14 days out of a year. So I’m like 96% good, which is totally an A. Can I please have snow for Christmas? P.S. I’ll bake you cookies and leave you real milk instead of almond milk. — The…Read more
I’m on vacation in North Dakota at my parents, it’s beautiful and snowing. I’m sitting on the couch reading a book The Unicorn Project. I’m 10 pages in and my mom comes into the room and says, “What are you reading?”. I start explaining what I know thus far. A woman is taking the fall…Read more
I’ll never understand why I can’t be Maximus Decimus Meridius. — The fug.
Lol. When you’re having a particularly bad day and it just straight up seems like the universe is not only not on your side but is out to make you absolutely certain it is deliberately targeting your life. Then it takes a really low blow. I didn’t believe algorithms could be cruel until today. I…Read more
Interesting conversation with a friend, he explained to me how he asked another person a question, and the response he was given was a little less than immediately relevant. It’s not the first time he has brought up the unique way the person is communicating with him. So, I asked him, “Are you having communication…Read more
— The fug.
For the record, I was right. — The fug.
I seriously love my people. — The fug.
If you want your dog to snuggle with you, don’t buy UGG blankets. — The fug.