Dear Santa, I know I’m not always good but I try. I’m estimating I’m bad maybe 14 days out of a year. So I’m like 96% good, which is totally an A. Can I please have snow for Christmas? P.S. I’ll bake you cookies and leave you real milk instead of almond milk. — The…Read more
I’m on vacation in North Dakota at my parents, it’s beautiful and snowing. I’m sitting on the couch reading a book The Unicorn Project. I’m 10 pages in and my mom comes into the room and says, “What are you reading?”. I start explaining what I know thus far. A woman is taking the fall…Read more
I’ll never understand why I can’t be Maximus Decimus Meridius. — The fug.
The moment I saw you, there were involuntary sparks. Your stupid smile. Conventional, tall, blue eyes. We were so different. You were cool, extroverted, brave, and funny. I was weird, awkward, and introverted. We were so similar. Curious, adventurous, intellectual, damaged. The way you always stood up for what was right even in dangerous situations….Read more
You were my height. You had blue eyes, glasses, braces, and asthma. I was so smitten with you, like a little puppy. I followed you everywhere. Enter a rogue suitor, a tall handsome boxer on a motorcycle. She convinced me to sneak out with these older dangerous boys. They made out and I talked to…Read more
24 hours on a train is a long time. I remember how we met. I met a young boy with a poker playing family and got myself dealt in. At the time, I played a lot of poker. He and I decided to go the top car and there you were. You wanted to play…Read more
Lol. When you’re having a particularly bad day and it just straight up seems like the universe is not only not on your side but is out to make you absolutely certain it is deliberately targeting your life. Then it takes a really low blow. I didn’t believe algorithms could be cruel until today. I…Read more
Interesting conversation with a friend, he explained to me how he asked another person a question, and the response he was given was a little less than immediately relevant. It’s not the first time he has brought up the unique way the person is communicating with him. So, I asked him, “Are you having communication…Read more
— The fug.
For the record, I was right. — The fug.