The moment I saw you, there were involuntary sparks. Your stupid smile. Conventional, tall, blue eyes.

We were so different. You were cool, extroverted, brave, and funny. I was weird, awkward, and introverted.

We were so similar. Curious, adventurous, intellectual, damaged.

The way you always stood up for what was right even in dangerous situations. The way you move your hands from playing the piano was so captivating.

We connected in college. That morning when you got up to finish your homework, sitting there so focused. So calm, so normal.

I moved away. You knew what you wanted, you always knew what you wanted. I wanted something else.

2,000 miles away you still felt like a magnet.

A few years go by. We didn’t know we lived in the same place. You were so angry I didn’t say I was close. It didn’t change that we wanted different things.

I told you what I didn’t want and you said you would go away. You did, for a long time.

I moved away. I still smiled at the thought of your smile. I still laughed at the memories.

There you are again. Still a magnate. So normal, grading papers. Those glasses suit you, or is it that you wearing them suits me? You have been living the life you wanted and so have I.

I know it can’t be. I told you what I want. You didn’t want it. You told me what you want. I didn’t want it.

I moved away. There you are again. And again. And again. You are supposed to be the more rational one. How do you not see it can’t be? Time should tell it can’t be. 2 decades of north to north should tell it can’t be.

Now you see. Something is bigger. I always knew a tiny he or she would be bigger than me. He or she is the thing you always knew you wanted. He or she for me couldn’t be.

Magnets continue to fade even though I still smile. It’s gone now. I am free.