“They’re Watching Snow White. And They Love It!”

We met forever ago. You were so not my type and I highly doubt I was yours. Although, over twenty years later you claimed you always liked the “ones who are are little crazy, not too crazy though, just a little” I’m still not sure if I think that is flattering or insulting. It is true though.

We were just babies, 16 years old. You liked to tease me mercilessly. You could always make me smile and laugh without saying a word. You asked me to do your classwork, and I did! Good for you the teacher knew I did and made you redo it more than once. We tried but clearly, we were not a clever pair.

We were great friends. You were tall a bit awkward with a beautiful smile and great green eyes. You surely got the better deal. Your beautiful wife and children would agree I think.

I thought you and I were just friends. Even when you asked me to that ridiculous high school dance. That might have been one of the best nights of my life. It was certainly the most fun I’ve ever had a high school dance. You were 100% gentleman, even when that random girl threw up on my dress. You drove me home to a spectacle of aurora borealis, the likes of which I have never seen again. They matched your eyes. You put your arms around my waist, not in a friendly way, and planted one on me to my surprise but not dismay. I’ve never been kissed quite like that again. I think I know what Betty Everett was talking about, although I wouldn’t have known it then.

We were great friends. You never tried anything again for a long time and I wouldn’t solve this mystery for 20 years.
One night out of nowhere you show up at my house and my brother almost shot you with his bow. I have no idea how but you charmed him and he walked you to the house to see me! We chilled out on the porch and again you put your arms around my waist not quite like a friend and again planted one on me! You weren’t like other boys, always the gentleman. You laughed at how slowly I blink my eyes and said I reminded you of Gizmo from Gremlins. Still the best compliment I’ve ever received.

We were great friends. You never tried anything again for a long time. I wouldn’t solve this mystery for 20 years.
To be honest, I thought maybe you were bored and I just wasn’t your type. I mean we were both a little adventurous and I seriously think that fence we ran into would agree.

You landed yourself in a relationship with a friend of mine. For as long as I had known you, I never knew you to have a girlfriend. I never thought to ask you why. Course you never asked me why I never had a boyfriend either. That is a little bit of a shame because had you asked I would have told you because I’m not very good at it.

We graduated and again you wanted to put your arms around my waist but to be fair I never quite got over it, someday maybe I’ll ask you why. I’ll always be sorry your friend lied to you, but you should have known better from your experiences with me that he was lying. All I did for the rest of that night was lend a friendly ear to a tragically brokenhearted guy. I think he had your best interest at heart by the way.

A few years went by and you called me up to ask me to marry you. I thought you were joking, even when I said you are joking and you said no I’m not, I still thought you were joking. You had all these crazy rational reasons why it would work. We were great friends. We liked each other. We always had fun together. To this day those are the best reasons I’ve ever heard for two people getting married. I told you I never wanted to be married. You tried to convince me that marriage could be fun. I still don’t believe it.

It would be a long, long time until I would see you again.

It’s like not a day has gone by. We are still great friends. You can still just give me a look and we both smile and laugh.

When you told me what you told me I finally understood why you weren’t like other boys.

— The fug.