We met forever ago. You were so not my type and I highly doubt I was yours. Although, over twenty years later you claimed you always liked the “ones who are are little crazy, not too crazy though, just a little” I’m still not sure if I think that is flattering or insulting. It is…Read more
Dream Issues
Apparently, dreams are meant to help us work out real-life problems. Hands down the coolest dream I’ve ever had was when I was sentenced to death for a crime my dream boyfriend committed. I was led up a very large helix-shaped staircase into a very small plain room. Leonardo da Vinci was waiting in the…Read more
International Man of Mystery
Curiosity killed the cat as they say and you were one seriously annoying mystery. Years later I can still see your mannerisms vividly. Apparently, ~55% of communication is visual. You were only slightly taller, black hair, brown eyes. You didn’t wear those glasses where I saw you. I’m relieved at least that was in my…Read more
10 things you hated about me
It started out as loathing. I’m such a joker and you clearly were having a bad day. My charms were obviously misplaced, but all I really wanted was a light-up mouse. Can you blame me? You came around eventually, you did light up both my offices like Christmas trees, although, that might have been wasted…Read more
Snow++

Dear Santa, I know I’m not always good but I try. I’m estimating I’m bad maybe 14 days out of a year. So I’m like 96% good, which is totally an A. Can I please have snow for Christmas? P.S. I’ll bake you cookies and leave you real milk instead of almond milk. — The…Read more
Man Skills
I’m on vacation in North Dakota at my parents, it’s beautiful and snowing. I’m sitting on the couch reading a book The Unicorn Project. I’m 10 pages in and my mom comes into the room and says, “What are you reading?”. I start explaining what I know thus far. A woman is taking the fall…Read more
Legendary
I’ll never understand why I can’t be Maximus Decimus Meridius. — The fug.
Star-Crossed
The moment I saw you, there were involuntary sparks. Your stupid smile. Conventional, tall, blue eyes. We were so different. You were cool, extroverted, brave, and funny. I was weird, awkward, and introverted. We were so similar. Curious, adventurous, intellectual, damaged. The way you always stood up for what was right even in dangerous situations….Read more
Teenage Dream
You were my height. You had blue eyes, glasses, braces, and asthma. I was so smitten with you, like a little puppy. I followed you everywhere. Enter a rogue suitor, a tall handsome boxer on a motorcycle. She convinced me to sneak out with these older dangerous boys. They made out and I talked to…Read more
24 hours
24 hours on a train is a long time. I remember how we met. I met a young boy with a poker playing family and got myself dealt in. At the time, I played a lot of poker. He and I decided to go the top car and there you were. You wanted to play…Read more